We all struggle with this at one time or another, if we didn't then there is a serious falling out coming.

As a parent, the first thing to realize is the difference between being responsible for a child and the actual ownership of person hood. Children do not come with a bill of sale and to occupy them is the quickest way to alienate them.

     The second thing to realize is levels of acceptance. I try to maintain the perception of viewing my children as my equal on a human level and the wish they are more successful on other levels.

     Keep the balance and line of communication open. We say NO to so much when they are toddlers, that they begin to expect no matter what they do we are not going to approve, a very detrimental operand condition. So when they behave or make decisions that are healthy, praise them up, acknowledge their ability and efforts.

     Sexuality and puberty is where I see far to many parents go astray from the balance of healthy environment. Each individual is entitled to determine and define their own person hood, in it's entirety. The more you impose or try to interfere with this the more you will fail at keeping trust and health in your ongoing relationship with any child.

     Balance is the key to all relationships. This can be proven 1000's of ways, and it always does balance. If you want your child to trust you, try leading by example and trust them first. When you want a child to care for and about themselves, talk to them about the why , the benefits you reap from your efforts as to why you do what you do or the why you do not do.

     Unspoken expectations are felt, so if you say one thing and intend on delivering another, don't bother they will surely figure you out and then trust you less. So many parents suffer OCD in a way that is not talked about much in our society. It is the obsessive compulsion to occupy mentally and emotionally, and I assure you there is no winning for either.

     Friends is the term that everyone and anyone wants, desires, wishes for. With out this the future is over before it begins. Acknowledge that your children are your equal both mentally and emotionally will set a very healthy foundation for the garden of friendship to grow develop and be a wonderful part of the experience of life.

     Life is an experience, it is a stage, and there are no retakes.

Till next time, wishing you well, tips hat